The dictionary defines Solitude as : the state of being or living alone; seclusion.

A recent article by Psychology Today warns that there is a fine line between solitude and loneliness.   They further say that solitude is the state of being alone without being lonely. It is a positive and constructive state of engagement with oneself. Solitude is desirable, a state of being alone where you provide yourself wonderful and sufficient company.

And in a couple of days I am going to enjoy the beauty that is solitude, as my birthday gift to myself (with the help and support of my husband and in-laws).  The only thing I asked for for my birthday this year was for some time “off”.  Time to myself.  Alone.  In solitude.

And I’m getting exactly that.  My husband is taking our 4 year old for a 2 day adventure to his mom and dad’s house (just a little bit out of town).  I will get all day Saturday, overnight Saturday night and most of Sunday to myself.  (I have to work Sunday morning but will be home by lunchtime).

What will I do with this time to myself?

You’ll have to check back in a couple of days to find out.  But it’s gonna be marvelous.

I live in a rather small town; a suburb of a small city.  Occasionally I pine for the BIG city life… I wonder what it would be like to live in New York City or Chicago.  Being able to walk down the steps of my apartment and into the hustle and bustle of an exciting, active world filled with all kinds of people from all walks of life.  Restaurants always open, a never ending variety to try.  Stores selling everything just a short walk from your front door.  The lights, the cars, the sounds, the smells… all of it alive all the time.

And then I think about this… when I go out and about here in my town - running errands, grabbing a bite to eat, taking a walk to the park - I see people I know.  I go to the grocery store and bump into a friend, one former co-worker and a teacher from my son’s school.  I go to the library and see a friend of a friend, we partied together at a 2-year old’s birthday party once.  We chat.  We “know” each other.

I enjoy that immensely.  I know some people would rather run to the grocery store in sweats and a pony tail and not see anyone they know.  But for me it’s an experience I look forward to.  I fix my hair and put on make-up every time because I know (I KNOW) I will see someone familiar there and will want to stop and say hello.

What a wonderful feeling.  To be known by so many people.  To have someone you know wave at you with a big smile from her car at a red light.

My town may be small, but this makes my life seem bigger somehow.  And it’s a good feeling.

Reality Check

I just re-read my last blog entry and realized that despite that day being incredibly stressful and frustrating, it eventually ended on a positive note and life went on.  Kind of reminds me that I should just quit complaining so much and deal.

I also just read a blog by a mom whose 2 year old little boy passed away this morning after a year and a half long battle with cancer.   That certainly put things in perspective for me.  I wanted to run right upstairs, wake my napping baby (in a 4 year old’s body) and cuddle him.  I didn’t, of course, but I felt like I wanted to.

Thanks to sweet little Dax (pictured below with his daddy) for reminding me just how lucky I am.

Alright (wiping the tears away), time to change the subject.

Research

The research project we did at MSU was really fascinating.  If you ever get a chance to participate in a research project I highly recommend it.  The $100 they paid us didn’t hurt either :)  The study was about communication in marriage and the connection (somehow) to your childhood relationships with your parents.  We were each interviewed separately and then we told each other about a time recently when we were upset with each other.  This was all filmed and when we were done we watched the video and used a little remote control to indicate how we were feeling during the interview.  It was all very cool.  And we each got to talk about something that really was bothering us.  Win - win situation!

Lassie, Benji or Toto?

It looks as though our dog hunt is on hold.  I have come to realize that my husband really doesn’t want a dog right now.  He didn’t explicitly tell me this; I figured it out on my own.  Every dog I found and showed to him was rejected.  Here are some of the reasons I was given for these rejections.

“It’s white.”

“It’s black.”

“It has wiry hair.”

“It’s ugly.”

“It’s too young.”

“It’s too old.”

“It’s too big.”

“It’s too little.”

See where I’m going with this?  After countless hours wasted poring over shelter websites and craigslist postings, I have quit searching.   When he’s ready for a dog he’ll just let me know.

It’s a Small World After All

Yes, we are going to Disney World!  We were presented with an opportunity that we could not pass up.  My parents had enough free airline tickets to get all three of us there at no cost.  Bonus #1!  My parents and my brother and his family are also going on the trip and we’re renting a house and splitting the cost three ways.  Bonus #2!  (Much cheaper than a hotel)  And, my parents discovered a park-hopper pass with my name on it from a Disney trip we took many, many years ago that still has 3 days of admission left on it!  Bonus #3!

So with all of these advantages the costs are low enough for us to go.  We are super excited and can’t wait for Isaac’s first Disney experience.  I think we’re both also very excited about Isaac’s first airplane experience.  It’s going to be a memorable trip for all of us.  We rented this house where we will each have our own private room with private bathroom.  And there is a heated pool.  So we just have to pray for decent weather.  Did I mention that we’re going in February?

Movie Madness

A few new movie reviews today.

We’ve been spending a lot of our movie watching time on Season 3 of America’s Test Kitchen.  It’s one of our favorite cooking programs.  I highly recommend it if you can find it on DVD.  Everything we’ve ever made from my America’s Test Kitchen cookbook …

has been fantastic.  Tonight I’m trying their version of Stuffed Peppers.  Tomorrow night we’re making their Cheesy Nachos with home-made guacamole and salsa.  And later this weekend we’re giving the Pasta Puttanesca a whirl!

Lemon Tree (”Etz Limon”) -  We both enjoyed this little movie about a Palestinian woman whose cherished lemon trees are threatened by the Israeli Defense Force.  I did find some irony in the fact that the movie is German-made.

Frozen River - Dark and dramatic film about a single mother drawn into the world of border smuggling while trying to make ends meet.   It’s a tad depressing but a worthwhile rental nonetheless.

The Brothers Bloom - I like Adrien Brody and Mark Ruffalo, and they are excellent together in this quirky crime drama/comedy about two brothers and the adventures their complex scheming takes them on.  For what it’s worth, I did miss the end of this because I fell asleep.  But I was really, really tired.  I don’t think it’s the movie’s fault that I dozed off.  So rent it anyway and let me know how it turns out, ok?  Thanks!

Cast Away - Yes, this is a very old movie (9 years old, to be exact).  No, I didn’t see it before.   I mentioned to my hairdresser that I was going to rent it and she said, “Oh, you’re not going to like it.”  I asked her why.  She said it was really long and weird.  Good!  Should be right up my alley, I thought.  And I was right!  I really liked this movie.  It is long, but I divided the viewing up over two evenings and it was totally tolerable.  Tom Hanks was incredible (as always).  And I loved going on IMDB after to read all of the little tidbits of trivia (which I won’t mention here).  A very good movie if you haven’t yet seen it.

A Thousand Years of Good Prayers - This movie came from a book of short stories about life in the US and China.  The story focuses on one man who comes to the US for the first time to visit his adult daughter.  His daughter is not pleased about his visit and spends most of the time he is there either at work or out with friends.  The story is heartbreaking and sad but also poignant.  You might find this a bit slow but if you have the patience to sit through a quiet story it’s worth the time.

It’s a Wonderful Life - I’ve always wondered about this movie and since it was Christmas time I decided to go ahead and rent it.  The funny thing is, it’s really not a Christmas movie! I was pretty shocked. I enjoyed it and I can see the appeal.  But it wasn’t an outstanding film to me.  It did have good lessons to teach and was a good reminder of what really matters.  Worth renting if you haven’t seen it yet.

Marley & Me - Get out your Kleenex, folks.  It’s not possible to watch this movie without crying.  Marley & Me is based on a true story about a man and his dog.  Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson are perfect for the leading roles.  But after the laughter about how naughty this dog is, comes the very sad ending.  So prepare yourself, but rent this.  It’s a nice movie.

Julie and Julia - I was really eager to see this and ALMOST paid to see it in the theater when it was out.  But I waited and I was really happy to finally get it from the library.  It’s cute!  If you haven’t heard of it (Really? You haven’t?) it’s about a woman named Julie who decides to cook her way through Julia Child’s cookbook in the course of a year.  It’s a true story, actually, which makes it even more fun.  Meryl Streep is completely believable as Julia Child and she made me want to learn even more about the odd (and very tall) chef.  And Amy Adams is cute, as usual.  I can’t imagine her in any other kind of role, really.  Two thumbs up!

P.S.

By the way, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU! I hope that your celebrations are safe and fun and that 2010 is the best year of your lives!!! 

I really swore I would not use my blog as a complaint billboard.  But today I’m complaining.  I needed to clean the house today.  My in-laws are due here this afternoon to babysit while Dave and I go to MSU to participate in a research project on marriage and communication.  I am really looking forward to the experience and the boy child is really looking forward to seeing his grandparents, so today should (SHOULD) be a nice, positive, relaxing day for all of us.  But trying to clean the house with a 4 year old is like… what’s that saying?  Nailing Jell-O to a tree?  Yeah, good analogy.

As soon as I finish one project the previous project has been undone and I have to go back and re-do it!  And at the same time I’m constantly having to stop what I’m doing to (a) get him down off that chair, (b) take the knife away from him, (c) remind him that he is not allowed to stick things in the VCR, or (d) tell him something else that he already should know and stop him from doing something he already knows is against house rules.  I realize (I swear I do) that he is trying to get my attention and that he is bored.  But there isn’t a lot I can do about this when the in-laws are coming, the house is a disaster and I want it to be clean when they arrive.

I tried to include him, giving him special jobs to do.  When I asked him to help wipe off the front of the stove and dishwasher he was an eager assistant.  Until he lost the sponge I gave him.  I still have no clue where that went.

And when I asked him to help me vacuum, a task that he does with excitement and a smile,  he gets distracted after 45 seconds because he realizes that the hose attachment is fun to stick to your clothes and hands.  So I let him do that for awhile - he was having a blast - but eventually the vacuuming did have to be finished.  And then he disappeared, no longer interested.

On top of that, I ran out of cleaning supplies in the middle of working on this and had to stop everything, load said 4 year old into the car and drive to the store to buy more.  Oh and while we’re out we have to stop at the library.  And then I came home and remembered that I was going to get a salad from Jet’s for my in-laws to have for dinner… so it’s hurry up and finish cleaning then pile back into the car for another quick trip (which is never quick) to the corner.  It’s now 1:00 PM.  The boy is in his bed getting ready for a nap and finally FINALLY FINALLY the house is clean and no one is messing it up.  It’s going to stay exactly this way until the in-laws arrive in 1.5 hours, and in the meantime I am going to sit in this chair, relax and unwind from an annoying morning.

Ok, I’m done.  Thanks for letting me vent.

Next blog… all about our research project, some movie reviews and Disney!  Don’t let me forget to talk about Disney!!!!

Have a good one.

I’m way behind on my movie reviews so I’m going to try to catch up right now. Grab some popcorn and enjoy!

Adventureland - Mildly funny comedy starring Kristen Stewart (the vampire movie chick) about life working at an amusement park in the 80’s.  Some cute lines.  Not the best acting.  But decent soundtrack.

Two Lovers - Joaquin Phoenix and Gwyneth Paltrow drama, set in New York City, about a regular guy torn between two women.  I have no clue how this ended - maybe I fell asleep?  Either way, it was just ok.

17 Again - Zac Efron and Matthew Perry comedy about a guy who goes back in time and gets to relive being 17 again (clever title, no?).  Actually not a bad movie.  Zac is adorable and does a great job as a Jr. Matthew.  Worth renting.  Light and fun.

New In Town - I love Harry Connick Jr but I can do without Renee Zellweger in this romantic comedy about a stiff business woman who moves to a small town to improve the local factory.  There are a few cute scenes and funny lines but overall just an ok movie.

How About You - Small, sweet movie about two sisters running a retirement home.  It’s a very “Hallmark” kind of movie but one worth renting.  I liked it!

American Graffiti - A guy at work insisted that I rent this movie.  He called it “A Classic”.   It was made in 1973 but takes place in the 60’s.  Lots of “cruising” shots, fancy cars and girls in poodle skirts.  It’s a glimpse into life as a teenager in the 60’s, which I found rather fascinating.  Certainly a movie worth renting if you haven’t seen it yet.

Henry and June - Ok, first of all this is a racy movie.  All about sex, really.  And lots of it.  So don’t rent it with your grandma, your preschooler or your bible-toting friends.  It’s about the sexual adventures of Anais Nin, particularly her experiences with writer Henry Miller.  I liked it.  It’s not a fantastic film but the story is interesting and who doesn’t need a little raciness now and then?  

Away We Go - Loved it!  This is a funny and sweet movie about a couple trying to find their place in the world while they are expecting their first child together.  Really cute movie. 

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof - Another “classic” this time based on a play by the same name.  Stars Elizabeth Taylor and Paul Newman (swoon!) and made in the late 1950’s.  I didn’t love this movie I think partly because it felt too much like a stage performance.  But overall it’s a pretty good cast and a decent story.  And Paul Newman is fun to look at.  Haha

Lymelife - What a strange movie!  Set in the 1970’s, story is of two families trying to uphold the appearance that everything is good and happy and well, but behind the scenes there is a lot of trouble.  Hard to say if I liked it or not - I think Dave wanted to give up on it about halfway through.  But I was somehow interested enough in the characters that I wanted to see how it played out.  So rent it and let me know what you think. 

O’Horten - A verrrrrrrry slow-paced film about a train conductor and his retirement.   It’s a Norweigan film with subtitles.  If you hate slow movies you won’t like this one, but if you don’t mind a quiet, subtle character film you may enjoy this.

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past - Oh Matthew… poor, sexy little Matthew. (McConaughey, I mean).  He gets into these romantic comedies without reading the script, or so it would seem.  This is just a bad movie.  Really just stupid.  And how they got Jennifer Garner into this is beyond me.  It’s not worth renting.  Save your time.

Goodbye Solo - Wow, ok this movie is not going to be for everyone.  1) It’s very slow-paced, 2) the actors are a bit hard to understand (one because of a thick accent and the other because he slurs his words) and 3) it doesn’t have a neat, happy ending.  So are you still with me?  Good.  Because this is a very thoughtful, interesting movie.  I do recommend it, as long as you are comfortable with concentrating on a movie, really paying attention to the characters, really wanting to get to know them.  If you just want to sit back and be entertained this is not for you.  You will be thinking about this one when it’s over. I should add that it’s about two men, a cab driver and his charge, and about the unique relationship they develop from a chance meeting.

The Country Teacher - Czech film with subtitles about a gay schoolteacher who moves from the city to the country and about the relationships he forms with the folks in the small town.  This is a pretty strong movie with quite a bit of drama.  A worthwhile rental, in my opinion.

The Girlfriend Experience - Steven Soderbergh is not one of my favorite directors, although I loved his 1998 film Pleasantville.  Somehow his films are a bit confusing to me.  And this is no exception.  The premise is interesting enough… a young, beautiful professional escort attempts to balance her work life with her personal life (living with a long-term boyfriend).  But the young lady he chose for the lead is a terrible actress.  In fact, all of her previous “acting” roles were in adult films, so I should have known.  And on top of that the movie is very mixed up and confusing.  I would not recommend this movie. 

The Proposal - I’ll admit it… I liked this movie a little.  It’s a silly romantic comedy, but it stars two of my favorite actors: Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds.  It’s funny and romantic and really rather sweet! 

I only have a minute so here is my speedy update…

Thanksgiving was lovely.  Visited with both sets of relatives and had a nice time.  No drama this year, thankfully!

Therapy is going well.  Liking Sheena a lot, despite her name.

Painting the inside of my coat closet a bright BRIGHT green because I saw the idea in a magazine.  Will look very cool when finished.  Right now it just looks crazy bright.

Working a TON this week at the phone bank.  Big pledge drive going on now on PBS.   Please call and donate!  Maybe I’ll answer

House is a disaster but don’t really care.

Finishing up the holiday cards.  Done with the Hanukkah cards, which need to go out this week.  The rest are “new year” cards so I have time to finish them and get them in the mail.  Can’t wait to start receiving cards!  Love this time of year.

Lots of movie reviews but no time to write them.  I’ll get back to that soon.

Doggie hunt is on!  We are hoping to find a female dog, about 2-5 years old, not black, not a Rotweiller or Pit Bull, cute and friendly, good with kids.  If you know of anyone looking for a home for their pet please let me know!  Poodle mixes are ideal because they don’t shed, but we also like Lhasa mixes, Shih Tzu mixes and Cocker Spaniel mixes a lot.

Gotta fly… the word “MOM” is being repeated over and over and over so I probably should respond.  Life is good…

Sheena is the name of my new therapist.  Not that I had an old therapist, but Sheena is a new addition to my life so I call her my new therapist.  And everytime I think of or say her name I break out into song.  Come on, you know.  Funky Cold Medina!   Let me recap for those of you unfamiliar with the genius that is Tone Loc:

I went up to this girl, she said,

Hi, my name is Sheena

I thought she'd be good to go with a little

Funky Cold Medina

She said, I'd like a drink, I said,

Ehm - ok, I'll go get it

Then a couple sips she cold licked her lips,

and I knew that she was with it

So I took her to my crib,

and everything went well as planned

But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess,

Sheena was a man

So I threw him out, I don't fool around

with no Oscar Meyer weiner

You must be sure that the girl is pure

for the Funky Cold Medina

Haha… I’m sure Sheena knows this song.  And I bet she hates it, too!

Anyway, Sheena is a therapist at the MSU Family and Child Clinic, where they offer discounted therapy sessions because they are all therapists in training.  Working toward their PhD’s.  I thought I’d see if I could get to the bottom of some “issues” since it’s so easy and affordable to go there.

We all have “issues,” don’t we?   I know we all do.  We just don’t talk about them.  Well mine have started to really bother me lately so I decided to do something about them.  I’m on the path to self-fulfillment.  I want to be the best me I can be.  And that’s going to take a lot of work.  But I’m starting small.  I’m talking through my issues with someone who can help me resolve them. Maybe with issues resolved I can move forward and make improvements in my life.  I have my work cut out for me.

Wish me luck!

Friday was my darling husband’s 38th birthday.  The method of celebration was his choice… he chose well.

We went to Detroit on Friday afternoon and dropped our little guy off at grandma’s house for a sleepover.  Then we went to our hotel to check in.  We spent a little time “relaxing” in our room (ahem) and then got showered and dressed for dinner.  We met a group of friends at a great Chinese restaurant for a big reunion dinner.  We don’t get to see these friends often enough!  There were 14 seats at the table but 3 wives couldn’t come because they weren’t able to line up babysitters.  But the guys still came, which was totally cool of them.  And Dave LOVED seeing all of his old chums, catching up and eating delicious food.

After dinner we went with 2 of the couples to a coffee shop nearby to sit and talk for a bit.

And then it was back to the hotel for a luxurious night of uninterrupted sleeping and sleeping IN in the morning!  So NICE!

We ended up going out for brunch (DELICIOUS) and doing some shopping before going back to pick the kidlet up.

All in all it was a wonderful overnight escape for BOTH of us, and a lovely birthday celebration for my brilliant, handsome, kind, dedicated and wonderful husband.

XOXO

Excuse from lady #1: I had a fight with my mom and was feeling sad

Excuse from lady #2: I dropped my cell in the bathtub when I was giving my daughter a bath that morning and had to go to Verizon to get a new one.

I believe #2 a little… I think.  But #1 can kiss my tush.

As if getting stood up wasn’t bad enough… I got stood up AGAIN by ANOTHER person today!  Seriously.  Totally not joking.

I e-mailed with this chick, we talked on the phone, we chatted on Facebook, she left me a message last night confirming our plans to go walking this morning, I left her a message back this morning re-confirming our plans.  And then I went to our designated meeting place.  Waited 30 minutes.  WTF???

I tried calling her from there and just got her voice mail.  The meeting time was 9AM.  It is now 12:51 PM and I haven’t heard from her.  No phone call no e-mail no Facebook message.  Nothin’

So disappointed in people today.