I just got home from a week in Grand Haven with my in-laws.  This is a yearly summer vacation that usually takes us to Traverse City, but this year led us to Grand Haven instead.

Every year the same thing happens.  I get really excited about this vacation, I plan, I pack, I choose books and magazines to read while I’m there, I print maps to great restaurants where I think about going for “date night” while my in-laws babysit…

And then we go.  And reality hits me like a brick in the face.  This is not a vacation.  This is everyday life with the same everyday struggles of parenting but in a new location and with additional people thrown into the mix to make things more challenging.

Yes, there are fun and happy moments.  Yes, we see beautiful sunsets and splash in the lake and dig in the sand and shop a little and go to new restaurants.

And I appreciate all of those moments SO much.

But the majority of the week is not so pleasant.  We are all in close quarters and have no personal space.  We all disagree about where to go and what to do.  We struggle to keep everyone happy at once.  We struggle to keep our 4 year old happy while also trying so hard to ensure the peace and tranquility for everyone else.

And we don’t get a date night. And I don’t get to read my books.

It’s very very hard.  And we always leave exhausted, frustrated and eager to return home to our own home and our own schedules and our own routines.

This year was no exception.  We were scheduled to stay until Saturday.  By Thursday night I was in tears and ready to go home.  We ended up leaving Friday mid-day and not a moment too soon.

I hate this.  I know that some families can spend a week together and laugh and play games and have a blast! They can relax and enjoy each others company.

I wish our family was like that.  I really really do.

I know I have a lot of responsibility for the negative energy.  I find myself battling with my mother-in-law about things like whether MY son should have a cookie with his dinner or if he should eat his dinner first and then get the cookie.  In my opinion this is none of her business and she should turn the other way and keep her mouth shut.  She does not.

I should just let it roll off my back. I should not “sweat the small stuff” and just let her be the grandma.  I do ignore the comments. I don’t say anything.  But I get frustrated and that surely shows on my face and in my mood for the next hour.

Listen, I know I’m blessed and lucky as hell to be given this vacation each summer.  Many many people would jump at the chance.  But there is something about the dynamics in my husband’s family that make this more difficult for me than it needs to be.

Well, there were good times.  And so, in pictures, I now give you my vacation story.  But I end with this comment.  “There’s no place like home.”

I made a mistake.  I bought the Jelly Belly Coldstone Creamery Ice Cream Parlor mix instead of the regular Jelly Belly’s.  I’m not enjoying them. Oh how I wish for a pear Jelly Belly to appear in the bag.

What a gorgeous day!  I took the little guy to the aquatic center today and we had a blast!  It was totally packed but still manageable.  And I used my keen senses and high school science class education to figure out that if I put our beach chairs right next to the big umbrella (in the sun), by the time we got done swimming and wanted to sit they would be in the shade!  And it worked.  I’m a genius sometimes.  “Sometimes”

My dear friend, Patricia, lost her mom last week.  Her mom had been sick but not “about to die” sick, so it was unexpected.  Unfortunately, Patricia was in California and her mom was in Nevada when it happened so she wasn’t able to say goodbye.  My heart is broken for her.  Her mom was her best friend, and her only living relative aside from some distant cousins.  I didn’t know Patricia’s mom.  I don’t think I had ever met her.  But I feel awful for my friend and I wish so much that I could be there with her during this time.

In Judaism, customs surrounding death are quite set in stone and for the most part they have to do with comforting the survivors.  There is a tradition where the immediate family shovels the earth onto the casket themselves at the end of the funeral service.  It’s a powerful moment for all in attendance, but such an important one, for it is a tangible sign that this is a final act.

After the funeral, mourners gather at the home of the deceased, or one of the close relatives of the deceased, and guests bring food to them and sit with them.  This period known as “shiva” lasts for a week.  The mourners are not to act as hosts of the visitors, and in fact are discouraged from even greeting visitors.  They are really just supposed to sit, think, be and mourn.

I really think this period does a great bit of good for the mourners.  It forces them to take the time to truly mourn their loss, to comprehend what has happened and to grieve fully.

But at the end of the week, shiva ends with a touching custom whereby the mourners take a walk outside, usually around the block if possible, to symbolize their re-entry into society after their week inside themselves.

I have never personally experienced the death of a close relative, and therefore have never had to “sit shiva” but I take comfort in knowing that when I do experience a great loss, I will have this old and important tradition to help me through the process.

I wish my friend, Patricia, had something like this right now.  Instead, she flew to Reno, said goodbye to her mom (who had already passed) went to the mortuary to pay for her cremation, went to the retirement home to retrieve her mother’s belongings, and then boarded another plane back home.  All in the same day.  And she went to work the next day.  To some this may sound cold, and as if she wasn’t really grieving.  But the truth is that she had no choice.  She did what she had to do, not what she wanted or needed to do.

I feel horrible for her and I wish there were more that I could do for her.  But I am here and she is there, and the most I can do is call, e-mail and listen.  We cried together over the phone instead of in person.

I would love to hear from you, if you are reading this and have experienced a loss such as this, as to what else I can do to be supportive for my friend.  Anything I can say, mail to her, write to her, do for her from afar that would be beneficial?  Suggestions welcome.

I’m going to completely switch gears here and talk about some movies I’ve seen recently.  Because, well, because life goes on…

New Moon - The Twilight saga continues here with the second in the series of films based on the books.  It’s not as good as the first one, but it wasn’t horrible. And I liked the books so it was fun to see them “come to life” on the screen.  Team Jacob, by the way.

Did You Hear About the Morgans? - I liked this movie way more than I thought I would.  It’s not nearly as dumb as it looks.  Haha Yes, it has some stupid slapstick comedy, but it was romantic and sweet and funny.  Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker are great together here.  It’s not Oscar-worthy, but it’s cute.

Alice in Wonderland - Disappointed.  I waited a long time to rent this and really didn’t like it.  In fact, I gave up and went to bed.  Dave finished it the next day and said it got better toward the end.

Alice - I rented this documentary about the creation of the story, Alice in Wonderland, while I was waiting for the movie Alice in Wonderland to come in at the library.  This is truly one of the worst documentaries I have ever seen.  It’s made up of a series of still photos slowly moving across the screen in various forms of “panning” while the narrator reads his script in voice-over format.  And his script is dry and boring.  And the pictures are dull and boring, too.  Really disappointing.  The story of Lewis Carroll and the Alice in Wonderland Story could have been fascinating in the hands of the right producer/director.

Mamma Mia - I saw the musical Mamma Mia in the theater a few years ago.  So when the film came out I was sure I wouldn’t bother watching it.  I just knew that it could not live up to the theater experience, and I didn’t want to ruin it for myself.  But there it sat, calling to me from the shelf at the library.  And I do love ABBA music very much.  So I rented it.  Eh… that’s all.  Just “eh”.  I still love ABBA music, but I was right.  The show was so much better than the movie.

Dark Matter - I have no idea where I heard of this film.  But someone somewhere recommended it and I rented it based on that. It’s inspired by the true story of a Chinese student studying at an American university and how he gets caught up in the politics of the school and the department.  The reviews are really split on this movie.  I would say it was well directed and interesting, but dark and sad in so many ways that it is certainly not for everyone.  See, I’m split, too!

A Single Man - This is a dark film with a very depressing storyline.  But I still liked it a lot and recommend it highly.  It’s about a professor trying to get through life one day at a time after the sudden death of his partner (romantic, not business).  Colin Firth is really excellent in the lead.  Again, not a cheery film by any stretch of the imagination, but worth renting.

Avatar - We started Avatar last night and are half-way through it.  So my review is based on the first half.  It’s a sci-fi movie, for sure.  And I’m not a sci-fi fan.  In fact, next to horror, sci-fi is my least favorite genre of film.  But this one is also a drama and a beautifully created film that is a joy to watch, even if you’re not a sci-fi fan. I can see where it would have been worthwhile to see it in the theater (”on the big screen” as they say) but I rented it and it’s still beautiful on my little tv.

The Cove - The Cove is a really remarkable documentary about a horrible environmental crisis going on in Japan… the slaughter of thousands of dolphins.  It’s really well directed and the subject matter, while difficult to watch, is important.  Very good movie.

I just got home from a meeting with the volunteer coordinator at the local hospice.  I’m officially a volunteer!  I’m very excited about this opportunity.  I have to go through a training program so I won’t be able to officially start until September, but this is something I have been wanting to do for many years so waiting a few more months won’t matter.

I really didn’t need to add more responsibilities to my plate.  I’m already a full time mom with two part-time jobs and I now run a support group once a week.  But I think I will let one of my part-time jobs go in order to make this work.  I certainly need the money, but money isn’t everything.  And I believe that this will be a much more rewarding way to spend that time.

I will be assisting with patient care and family care, mostly, but may also be asked to help with office tasks, reception work, etc., as that is something I have a great deal of experience with.

I know that for many people, working with people in their final days of life, and with grieving families,  would make them uncomfortable.  Death makes people uncomfortable.  Death is not pretty or easy.  But death is something I have always been at peace with.  I have no issues with being in cemeteries or funeral homes.  In fact, I have spent time considering volunteering or looking for work in a funeral home.  I am truly fascinated by what goes on when someone is dying.  What the family experiences.

I rented a movie the other night called The Undertaking.    It’s a behind-the-scenes look at what goes on in a funeral home in Milford, MI.  You can watch the program in it’s entirety here:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/undertaking/

Was it easy to watch?  No.  But everyone dies.  No one lives forever.  So we will all have to go through that at one point.  And we will all have to experience the loss of a loved one at some point.  It’s the circle of life, so they say.

Anyway, I look forward to being able to make a difference to someone when they need it the most.  To be a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, a helping hand or a calm presence.  Whatever they may need.  And I hope that some day, when I reach the end of my life, someone will do the same for me.

I’m reading a fantastic book called The Blessing of a Skinned Knee.  The subtitle is Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children.  And I am Jewish so this is especially pertinent to me.  However, I think this book is valuable to all parents.  We are all struggling to raise bright, sensitive, kind, well-rounded children in a world that doesn’t make that all too easy to accomplish.

From the book, the list of aspects of parenting that Jewish thinkers have deemed crucial to raising children:

• Accept that your children are both unique and ordinary
• Teach them to honor their parents and to respect others - family, friends and community
• Teach them to be resilient, self-reliant,  and courageous
• Teach them to be grateful for their blessings
• Teach them the value of work
• Teach them to make their table an altar - to approach food with an attitude of moderation, celebration and sanctification
• Teach them to accept rules and to exercise self-control
• Teach them the preciousness of the present moment
• Teach them about God

I read this list with great interest.  I wondered if this might be a good checklist for me to see how I’m doing raising my own son.

I think the one I would most like to work on would be teaching him about the preciousness of the present moment.  I think that’s one I would like to work on with myself as well.

If you have any great ideas about how to instill that in a young child please do share with me.  I haven’t read that chapter yet, though I anticipate gaining great insight from the author when I reach that point in the book.  I will let you know.

I leave you with this question that rabbis like to ask schoolchildren.  I encourage you to leave out the word “Jewish” if you are not of the Jewish faith and see if the question sparks something in you as it did me:

What is the most important moment in Jewish history?

The giving of the Torah on Mt. Sinai?

No.

The parting of the Red Sea?

No. Right now.  This is the most important moment in Jewish history.

I’ve started a support group for compulsive eaters.  Wish me luck!  I’ve never facilitated a support group before, though I feel confident that I will be pretty good at it.  The question is, will I be a good facilitator and still be able to benefit from participating in the group?  I hope so. I started the group because I need the group and because no such group currently exists in my area.  Sure there is Overeaters Anonymous, but that’s not the right place for me.  I’ve been through Al-Anon and understand what the 12 step programs are like.  It’s not right for me with this issue.

I’m enthralled with the work of Geneen Roth, author and compulsive eater.  I want our support group to be based on Geneen Roth’s books and teachings.  My hope is that through her words, and with the support of others like us, we will be able to find peace with our relationships with food and become healthier… physically and mentally and emotionally.

And so that’s where you will find me on Thursday evenings at7:30.  Anyone who would like to join the group should message me for the meeting location.  I hope this is the beginning of the beginning for me.  And for everyone in the group as well.

This weekend we celebrate Father’s Day.

When I think about my own father a variety of images come to mind.  There’s the person he is today, on a good day, where he is funny, interesting, thoughtful and generous.  There’s the not-so-good-day dad who is irritable, self-centered, demanding and mean.  And when I think back to my childhood, to the dad I grew up with, I have mixed feelings as well.  Do I have happy memories of my dad from my childhood?  Yes.

I remember vividly one birthday (I may have been 5?) when my dad came home from work late in the evening and surprised me with a Happy Birthday Barbie doll.

I remember staying up late with my dad and my sister playing Monopoly at the kitchen table.

I remember my dad taking us to the lake almost every Sunday during the summertime.

I remember sitting on the couch together after everyone else had gone to bed and watching Laurel and Hardy.  Laughing together.

I remember a few very specific and very happy memories of my dad.

But there are only a few.

Most of my memories of my dad from childhood are not pleasant.  They are violent, angry, scary memories.  Words that come to mind inlcude:  yelling, hitting, insulting, degrading, belt-whipping, chasing, slamming doors, holes in the wall, slap across the face, scared, worried and confused.

I was very confused as a child.  I loved my daddy so much and wanted him around.  But he wasn’t around much.  To his credit, he was gone so much because he was working.  He was working VERY long hard hours on a construction site.  He was working for us, to support us and to give us a good life.  And I admire him for that and always will.

But when he was home, when we finally got our daddy back, he was not a happy person to be around.  The few hours each day or each week we had together were almost always difficult and stressful.

And then I found myself wishing he wouldn’t come home.  Things were much happier when he was at work.  I was not afraid.  We were not walking on eggshells.  We were free to have fun and be ourselves without fear of punishment or anger or rage.

And so as an adult I look back on my childhood with great sadness.  I wish things had been different.  I wonder how I would be different today if I had grown up with a loving, kind, gentle dad.  A dad who was there when I needed a shoulder to cry on.  A dad who was fun to wrestle with on the floor, who read books to me, who tucked me in at night.  A dad who told me how much he loved me and how important and special I was.  A dad who encouraged me to be and do anything I could dream of.  A dad who played tea party with me and who rocked my dolls to sleep when they were sad.

I realize that I will never know what it would have been like to be that little girl.  To have that family.  And I can’t change anything about my past.  So I move forward.  I accept my dad now and recognize that if he had known better he would have done better. I don’t excuse what he did, but I try to accept it and move forward.

And one of the ways that I moved forward from that experience was to marry a man who I knew would be THAT dad.  I brought a child into this world and I made sure when I did I gave him the best father he could have.

And what a lucky little guy he is. His daddy is loving, kind and gentle.  His daddy is his shoulder to cry on.  His daddy wrestles with him on the floor, reads books to him and tucks him in at night.  His daddy tells him daily how much he is loved and how special he is.  His daddy encourages him to be and do anything he can dream of.  His daddy plays tea party with him and rocks his teddy to sleep when he is sad.

I am blessed.  My son is blessed.  My life is blessed.  And no matter where I have been or what I have been through, today I am fortunate enough to know that by my side every single moment of every single day is my best friend.

Happy father’s day to all the dads.

I am WAY behind on movie reviews (as my darling husband pointed out to me the other day - hi baby!) so here goes…

500 Days of Summer - I loved this movie!  Dave said it was “ok” but I enjoyed very much and recommend it.  The tagline is perfect.  It says, “Boy meets girl.  Boy falls in love.  Girl doesn’t.”  And that’s the basis for the whole story.  But the cast is great (I love Zooey Deschanel) and the whole feel of the movie is sweet, quirky and fun.

Motherhood - Stars Uma Thurman as a frazzled mom in the city. I really thought I would like this simply because I can relate to it so completely!  Well, I didn’t.  I didn’t even get to the halfway point before I turned it off.  Too bad, really.  There aren’t enough movies for MOMS!

Precious - What can I say about Precious.  It’s incredibly sad, difficult to watch and disturbing.  Yet it’s so amazing at the same time. This is an Oscar winner that really earned it’s statues.  It really is a “must see” film.

Women in Trouble - This is a small film that you probably have never heard of.  I have no idea where I came across it myself.  The story is about 10 very different women all going through some sort of trouble.  I’m not really sure if I liked it or not.  It wasn’t terrible.  It wasn’t great.  How’s that for a review?  Haha

Where the Wild Things Are - You know this story.  You’ve undoubtedly read the book. Or your children have.  It’s a movie version of the classic children’s story.  I really wanted to love it.  Nope.  Didn’t even finish it.  It was really boring!  I’ll stick with the book.  9 sentences, and that’s all it needs.

Sherlock Holmes - I’m convinced that I missed something with this movie.  Maybe I’ll try watching it again some day.  Because everyone who sees it loves it!  But I didn’t even want to finish it.  My husband liked it.  So I will recommend it, especially to those of you trying to pick a movie to watch with your man.  It does star Robert Downey Jr. so if nothing else it’s easy on the eyes.  Haha

A Serious Man - I love Joel and Ethan Coen.  They bring something to cinema that no one else has to date.  They are creative, crazy and talented.  But this movie bothered me.  I really had high hopes for this story of a stressed out guy going through a very rough patch in his life.  It was nominated for 2 Oscars.  It just didn’t really go anywhere and I found it boring.

The Lovely Bones - This movie is based on a book, which I read and really liked.  I normally expect film versions of best-selling novels to be terrible.  But I enjoyed this interpretation.  By enjoyed I mean I was moved by the cinematography, impressed by the acting and needed a box of Kleenex at the end.  So it’s not a happy-ending kind of movie.  But it is worth renting.

Blessed is the Match - The rest of the title is “The Life and Death of Hannah Senesh.”  This is a documentary about a young Hungarian girl who was captured by the Nazis while trying to rescue Jewish people during WWII.  It’s really an amazing story of one individual trying to make a difference.  I recommend it wholeheartedly.

Shall We Kiss? - Parlez vous Francais?  You don’t have to speak French to enjoy this quirky little comedy.  It’s romantic and sweet and funny.

For My Father - Another foreign film, this time an Israeli movie about a young Israeli girl and the Palestinian suicide-bomber who captures her heart.  Weird plot, maybe.  But the movie was enjoyable and I particularly enjoyed seeing bits of Israel.

Five Minutes of Heaven - This was a very strange movie about two Irishmen who come face to face 25 years after a terrible tragedy.  Liam Neeson stars.  I hated the ending.  Just for the record.

Crazy Heart - I loved Crazy Heart.  In fact, thinking about it in order to write this review makes me want to watch it again.  It reminded me a great deal of The Wrestler, which I also enjoyed very much.  Crazy Heart stars Maggie Gyllenhaal and Jeff Bridges. It won 2 Oscars and I have to agree that it was worthy.  Definitely worth renting in my opinion.

Facing Ali - Documentary lovers will appreciate this behind-the-scenes look at the boxing career of Muhammad Ali.   If your man enjoys boxing this is a great movie to watch together.

Post Grad - Hmmm, I’m trying to remember this movie. I watched it some time ago.  But from what I can recall it was just ok. It’s definitely a romantic comedy.   Not a great one, but if you’re in the mood for that sort of thing I guess it’s worth renting.

The Other Man - And here we have Liam Neeson again.  This time as a jealous husband trying to solve the mystery of his wife’s affair.  Her affair with Antonio Banderas, I might add.  Mm-hmmm…  Anyway, Ahem… back on track.  Ok so it was not a great movie.  But it wasn’t horrible.  It made me want to go to Milan, so there is that.  It’s quite sad, really. I don’t know if I’m recommending it or not.  Haha

The Class - This film festival favorite had potential.  But I didn’t make it to the end.  It’s a French film about a teacher trying to get through to his difficult students. People really seem to love this movie.  So I suggest it might be worth a try for fans of foreign films.  Let me know how it ends, ok? I just couldn’t stay with it.

Capitalism: A Love Story - I know Michael Moore is controversial and many people just flat-out hate the guy.  But I enjoy his documentary style and have liked all of his movies to this point.  This one, however, wasn’t quite as captivating to me.  It was good and it reveals the truth about capitalism in America just fine.  But it got very detailed with things that didn’t hold my interest well.  So I didn’t love it.  But I liked it well enough.

It’s Complicated - I think of this as a romantic comedy for the over-40 set. Although I’m 35 and I really liked it!  Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin were great as the divorced couple who find romance with one another 10 years after the end of their marriage.  And Steve Martin is really good in this side role… not being the crazy slapstick guy he normally is.  Just a good character here.  There are several laugh-out-loud moments and alongside that a touching story.

The Box - Ok, I love The Twilight Zone, and I imagine that this made for a compelling and creepy short story when it was a TZ episode.  But as a feature-length movie it sucked.  In fact, about 3/4 of the way through I was so disgusted and annoyed with this movie that I went to bed.  Angry!   I can’t even explain the bizarre plot so if you really want to know you’ll have to look it up.

Wendy and Lucy - I rented this movie once, didn’t have a chance to watch it and returned it unviewed.   Then I read another review of it praising it as a “quiet little gem” so I re-rented it.  My husband thought I was nuts.  My mother-in-law said it was awful.  But I wanted to see for myself.  So I actually kind of liked it, sort of.  It’s definitely quiet and little.  It’s about a woman and her dog on a road trip.  They get stuck in a small town and she can’t find her dog.  So that’s the basis for the whole movie.  (I told you it was “quiet” and “little”!)  But I liked Michelle Williams and found myself really worrying about her and wondering what I would do in her shoes.  You may hate this.  But you also may slightly enjoy it, as I did.  Let me know!

The Young Victoria - I’m only halfway through this movie but I’m going to go ahead and recommend it anyway.  I love period films about the royal families.  I never would have imagined Emily Blunt in the role of the young queen, but she’s good!  It’s good to see that the life of a princess isn’t at all what we imagine it to be.  Anyway, rent it.  I like. **UPDATE** Finished last night.  Still recommending it.  Very good movie.

I keep thinking that I want to blog but when I sit down to write my mind goes completely blank.  Well, not completely.  But things run through it that are totally not blog-worthy.

I guess I’ll say this today.  I’m in a good place this week.  I was worried because my son is off school this week and next and I was pretty sure it was going to be a LONG break and a stressful one at that.  But so far things are going well.  We’re finding fun things to do and he’s mostly well-behaved.

I’m reading a good book (Women, Food and God by Geneen Roth) and it’s inspiring me to make healthy changes in my life.  I began another food journal (I use the www.livestrong.com MyPlate program online for this) and have been doing fantastically all week.  I have lost 5.5 pounds in 6 days.   I’ve just been keeping track of what I eat and what exercise I get and the website tells me how many more calories I can eat in the day.  It’s simple really, and every single time I use the website and start logging my food intake I lose 5 lbs easily the first week.  It’s what happens during week 2, 3, 4 that begins to cause problems.  The sudden weight loss stops and then it’s a slow trickle.  It’s so much harder to stay motivated when the scale reads the same number for 4 days in a row.  Right now it’s dropping at least half a pound each day.

Anyway, Geneen tells me that I should not diet, should not count calories… I should reach a point where I eat what my body wants and how much my body needs and with that I will reach a healthy weight for me.

And that’s my goal.  To reach that point emotionally, spiritually and physically.  But as of last week I wasn’t fitting into any of my pants except 2 pair of jeans and one pair of capris.  So something had to be done immediately!

I’ll keep reading.  But for now I’m also going to keep trying this tried and true method for getting back into my jeans.

I’ll start out this week with a few movie reviews.  Does anyone read these?  I hope so.  I enjoy sharing them with you.

An Education - I know you’ve heard of this movie.  It was nominated for 3 Oscars including Best Picture.  I was excited to finally get a chance to watch it, and I was not disappointed.  It takes place in the 1960’s in England and is about a teenage girl and the older gentleman she falls in love with.  Really excellent.

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs - This is a fantastic animated feature-length film!  Really funny and totally appropriate for adult audiences with or without kids.  We watched it without my 4 year old and loved it.  We both laughed out loud several times.  And the animation is really fun… all that giant food!  Totally worth renting.

Coco Before Chanel - I reviewed another movie about Coco Chanel a few months back but this is a different version… starring one of my favorite French actresses, Audrey Tautou.  The movie was pretty good but having seen the previous Chanel film, the story was very familiar.  I was kind of expecting more from Audrey Tautou.  She’s been great in everything I’ve seen her in, but in this film I didn’t feel her “spark.”  I will attribute that to the directing because really she’s a much better actress than she appears to be in this film.

The Blind Side - You’ve probably already seen this movie… It took a LONG time to get from the library!  But just in case you have not, I say RENT IT!  It’s really really good.  Sandra Bullock won a Best Actress Oscar for her role as the dedicated mom and advocate for the star football player.  And it was nominated for Best Motion Picture as well.  Deserving for sure.

This is It - Michael Jackson fans will adore this behind the scenes look at the MJ tour that never was.  I am one of those fans.  I grew up on Michael Jackson’s music and still listen to it today.  His Thriller and Bad albums were the soundtracks of my youth.  I wish he had lived to experience this tour.  He really did put his heart and soul into it.

MOTHER’S DAY

My husband (dear, sweet husband that he is) has asked me what I want for Mother’s Day.  I’ve been thinking and stewing and brainstorming.  I came up with a whole list of things that I want, but to settle on which one I want the most is hard!

Right now I’m leaning toward #4.

1. A carpet steamer.  I know, it’s practical, not sweet or thoughtful.  But I do actually need one.

2. A night away in a hotel with Dave.  We’d have our son sleepover at my mom and dad’s house.  We’d get a couple of hours together on Friday evening, a full night and the next morning together.

3. New patio chairs.  Again, practical.  But I really hate the cheap plastic ones we have.  I just can’t get them clean so they look terrible.  And they aren’t all that comfortable.  I have visions of having friends over to barbecue this summer and eating on the deck.

4. A day off - Dave would take our son to his parents on a Friday late afternoon and have a sleepover, returning late Saturday night.  This would give me an evening to myself, a full night of uninterrupted sleep, a chance to sleep IN (!!!!!!!) and a day to myself to watch movies, read books and relax.

5. Stuffed French toast in bed.  Ok, I want that in addition to whatever else I get.   Haha

I have to decide and put in my “request” soon.  So feedback please!

To start out with today I would like to say thank you to everyone who is reading and commenting on my blog.  I have been getting a ton of feedback from you all… via comments, e-mails, phone calls and private messages.  And it means so much to me to hear from you in response to my thoughts and words.  You have all been so supportive and kind and hearing your stories makes me feel so much less alone.  Thank you especially to LL, CM, DB and IN (initials, of course).  You guys are the best!!!

Your comments on my family history blog were moving and deeply personal and I appreciate them more than I can tell you.

Being the grandchild of two holocaust survivors is an honor I wish in so many ways I did not carry.  But I am determined to learn the stories of my grandparents… the details of their lives before and during the war.  And to share them with the world.  I’ll post more about that when progress is made.

On a lighter note…

I have a few movie reviews today. As always, the titles should be click-able links.

The September Issue - I was a little disappointed in this documentary about the editor-in-chief of Vogue magazine.  The stories behind the magazine were interesting enough but what I really wanted was to learn more about Anna Wintour herself.  She’s a fascinatingly secretive person and I had hoped this would be a revealing look into the personal side of the “Queen Bee.”  It was more about the magazine, unfortunately.  Still a worthwhile rental, however.

Lorna’s Silence - This subtle foreign film was hailed by film critics so I had high hopes for it.  It is a well made movie though rather depressing and quite slow to build.  It’s about a young woman hoping to obtain her official citizenship so that she can open her own restaurant and make a better life for herself.  But she gets caught up in illegal activities in order to make this happen.  The story gets a little confusing at times but you always find yourself hoping that Lorna will make it.

Good Hair - Comedian Chris Rock hosts this unique documentary about African-American hair.  Yes, hair.  I found it entertaining, interesting and informative.  I also found it rather sad.  So many women (of all cultures) try so hard to change their hair to suit some kind of societal ideal.  I can relate, having naturally curly hair and coming from a place where all the women/girls straighten their hair.  I straightened mine for many years before I decided to give up the “fight” and to just be me.  I found a fantastic stylist who makes me look and feel my best (Melanie at Mirabella Salon in Okemos! Woo!) and I have never received more compliments on my hair than I have in the past couple of years.  Anyway, I digress.  The movie is good and if you like Chris Rock and you like documentaries and you like hair… you should enjoy this as well.

Triviatown - Another documentary, this time about an annual trivia contest in Wisconsin and the fanatics who flock there for the fun, the sport and the chance to win the coveted trophy.  If you liked Spellbound and Wordplay as much as I did this will be right up your alley.

All About Steve - Just in time for a sympathy party for Sandra Bullock, whose husband turned out to be a jackass, this silly movie is just what you’re imagining.  It’s a light romantic-comedy with a few laughs but nothing you’ll feel compelled to write home about. Maybe a good rainy day rental, but don’t expect too much.

Lodz Ghetto - I accidentally rented this movie a second time thinking that I had not yet seen it.  But it was worth watching again.  This is an older documentary (from 1989) about the city of Lodz in Poland and about the segregation of the Jewish population into a ghetto by the Nazi’s.  This is certainly a fitting film for Holocaust Remembrance week but, as you can probably imagine, it is difficult to watch and disturbing to see and hear.  My family lived in Lodz and therefore this film, more than most holocaust stories, is especially important to me.

The Princess and the Frog - Disney is back in top quality form with this animated feature-length film.  It reminded me of the modern classics - The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast.  I loved the jazz soundtrack, and the strong female lead character.  We did not watch this with our son so I can’t comment on it’s attraction to a 4 year old, but as a Disney loving adult I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Everybody’s Fine - This is a tough one. On one hand, it is terribly depressing and sad.  On the other hand, it seems like a rather realistic portrait of the widowed adults in our society… left behind by their children who have moved on with their own lives, lonely and lost, wandering and confused about what they should do next.  It’s thought-provoking, at the very least.  And Robert De Niro is fantastic as always. But it will make you want to reach out to your parents and grandparents.  So rent it, and then go ahead and give them a call.  They’ll be thrilled to hear from you.

Adam Resurrected - I am absolutely not going to recommend this movie to anyone.  It’s too risky.  Because most people who watch it will be horrified, confused and disturbed by it’s content.  But I will tell you that it was a “wow” movie for me and for my husband.  It’s shocking, yes, but the acting, the cinematography, the costumes… it’s just a film-lovers kind of movie on so many levels. You might hate it, that’s all I’m saying.

Adam - I need to rent this movie again.  I was doing ten other things while trying to watch it and got a little bit lost.  But my husband finished it and really liked it.  And from what I saw I liked it, too.  It’s the story of a single adult man who has Asperger’s Syndrome, and about the woman next door who falls in love with him.

Cold Souls - My husband brought this movie home and I had never heard of it before.  After reading the back of the case, I had my doubts. And guess what… hated it!  We turned it off about 30 minutes in.  Just dull, confusing and weird. And I normally like Paul Giamatti!  Bummer.

Couples Retreat - This movie made me want to go to Bora Bora.  That’s about it.  It was sort of cute but really kind of dumb.  I guess as romantic comedies go, it’s pretty typical.  But it just isn’t that funny.  Rent with caution.

Love Happens - As soon as I finished this movie I updated my Facebook status to read, “Debbie wants the hour and a half back she just wasted watching Love Happens.”  Ok?  It’s really bad.  I fast-forwarded through the last 30 minutes or so.  Don’t bother.  Clean out your closet instead.

The First Saturday in May - Absolutely worth renting.  This is a documentary about the Kentucky Derby, and I know you’re thinking to yourself, “That doesn’t sound interesting at all Debbie.”  But it’s a movie about the people behind the horses. It’s really very good.

The Invention of Lying - Ricky Gervais is a very funny guy, in my opinion. But he’s just not very funny in this movie. Many people are offended by the way this movie mocks religion so take that into consideration as well. It’s just “eh” to me.

The Informant - I was really looking forward to this one.  But I wasn’t interested enough to finish it.  Very disappointing for me. My major complaint is that the story is very confusing.  I usually watch movies late in the evening and this one required way too much concentration to stick with it.  I’d pass on The Informant.

Up in the Air - A friend told me the other day that she walked out on this movie at the theater.  But I really liked it.  I guess it’s a love it or hate it kind of thing.  George Clooney is his usual dreamboat self in this drama/comedy about life in the air.  I’ve always been intrigued by those people who fly around the country all the time on business… their lonely nights in hotel rooms, their first class seats, their fancy shoes and their air of importance.  This is a behind the scenes look into their world.  Let me know what you think!

The Time Traveler’s Wife - The book of the same name was fantastic.  I enjoyed it immensely.  So I was looking forward to revisiting the story in film form.  Normally films don’t do the book justice.  But this is an exception.  The movie is well done, it follows the book nicely and it’s a dramatic story worth watching even if you haven’t read the book.  You will have to allow yourself a “temporary suspension of disbelief” (using a term one of my college film professors enjoyed throwing about) because the story is completely unrealistic, what with the time traveling and all.  But if you can put yourself in that place you should enjoy it as much as I did.